Well, crude oil is getting pummeled again and all of my UCO positions that I’ve been holding for the past few months were all 50% or more underwater. I say “were” because I just sold everything I had for massive losses and…well…I’m sick and tired of this shit. Stock trading is detrimental to my goals of financial independence, and I have no business playing in the stock market. “Toxic” is actually a better word than detrimental is. I’ve lost $95k trying to find a bottom in the price of crude oil this year, and it ticks me off beyond words to even write that.
To make matters worse, I was trading UCO (a 2X ETF) and it’s not like I could have just held it for as long as it took to make a recovery. 2X ETF’s have a massive amount of decay built into them and it’s never good to hold long term. Damn.
Even though I haven’t totally blown out my account, it still hurts in ways I can’t even describe. That $95k represented about 50% of my liquid savings, and knowing how long it took me to build that account up, it depresses me to know that I was so reckless with it. I’m better than that. I’m smarter than that. How in the world did I let this happen?
Yes, things could be much worse. I still have a nice retirement account, a decent amount of home equity, and a tick under $100k still in liquid savings. But to know that I pissed nearly $100k away over the span of 12 months for something so stupid and WORTHLESS makes me ill. I’ve got absolutely noting to show for it except for a bruised ego. If I would have wasted that money on something frivolous like a car, at least I’d have a tangible object (cool car) to tool around in. But nope. I thought I was smarter than the markets, and I paid the ultimate price.
So that’s it. I’m done stock trading for good now. I’ve learned some valuable lessons this year, the most important one being that I’m not willing to risk (gamble) my hard earned money for the slight chance of a huge pay day. I work so hard to make money with my side projects, and from now on I’m going to cherish every cent.