Discovering who I am as an entrepreneur

It’s been just over a year since I posted an in-depth (and embarrassing) look at my creative process, and I’m here to report that I still haven’t separated myself from that way of working. It’s not like I WANT to work in circles like that, but it’s how my brain is naturally wired and it’s what I always revert to. I have an annoying habit of getting really excited about something, working on it until I literally feel sick, and then vowing in disgust to never work on that project ever again. Then, several months later, I find myself crawling back to it – right where I left off.

To be a bit more specific, my website empire consists of 9 websites (including this one). I’ve also added two separate YouTube channels to my portfolio of entrepreneurial side projects over the past several months, along with social media accounts for 3 of these projects. It’s a lot to manage, and it’s not surprising that I sometimes feel overwhelmed by it all.

Any decent entrepreneurial coach would tell me that I’m trying to do to much, and I’d have much higher levels of success focusing on one or two of those projects and eliminating the rest. I know that. I understand that. I’d actually love to do that! But I’m starting to realize that I’m not cut out to run a single business. I have a short attention span, too many interests, and I’m prone to feeling high levels of stress and anxiety when I commit myself to huge projects. And you know what? I’m ok with it.

So this puts me a bit of a pickle, right? I want to earn enough money to make a living with my websites, but I don’t want to run a business and manage all the commitments that come with it. It was depressing for me to come to this realization, but that soon faded as soon as I realized that I’ve already got a ton of content online and my business is already well-established. My “business” consists of producing content on my time, on my schedule, whenever I feel like it across a variety of web properties. That’s certainly a slow way to build an empire, but I’ve been doing this for 5 years now and most of my web projects have a substantial amount of content on them. They also rank well with the search engines. And I’m even making money doing it this way, so it’s not like I’m totally wasting my time.

Anyway, juggling all these projects has taught me a lot about myself and who I am as an entrepreneur:

1). My attention span is too short to focus on only one or two things. I’ll never be a superstar blogger making millions of dollars a year from one website.

2). I’m proud of what I’ve built over the years. Despite working on my web projects off and on, I’ve created a substantial amount of content since 2010!

3). My projects exist primarily to help me organize my hobbies and interests. Even though I’ve tried building websites for the sole purpose of making money, my hobby and personal interest sites are growing the fastest (and therefore, attract more visitors). I’ll never again launch a web project in a niche that I have no interest in.

4). Trying to be “huge” in one area does nothing but stress me out. I’m much better when I take a “who cares” attitude to my entrepreneurial ventures and build content piece by piece whenever I have the time.

I am accepting the fact that I’ll never have one huge website or YouTube channel. That may sound sad and defeatist, but the good news is that it means I’ve realized that hacking away at my collection of web projects whenever I want (on my schedule) is what makes me the most comfortable. Each piece of content I publish is another link for viewers and readers to click, and it’s just another building block doing it’s part to continuously build my empire. Screw trying to run a single business. I’ll let others fight that battle.

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